Dikembe Mutombo, the Houston Rockets are reporting, now speaks Chinese, incoherently, as he does the seven other languages he's said to be fluent in. The Rockets made the announcement before the Sonics game Nov. 14th, because nothing else about the team was newsworthy, Rich Brogan, the team's public relations director, said.

Mutombo has cultivated a reputation for being among the more worldly of the NBA players; he is also widely regarded as intelligent, if incomprehensible. No one in the league speaks more than three languages except him, say NBA sources, who add that fewer than 30% of its players speak even one language.

Rockets management has stated that, if Mutombo would be willing to remove at least two of the marbles from his mouth, he'd make much more sense. But Mutombo has refused the team's request, saying that only the full lot of six marbles can keep away the evil spirits said to haunt him.

In a separate matter, God has implored Mutombo to retire, calling it "unbearable" to watch the rickety, stilt-like 7'2" center labor on the floor. In response, Mutombo could not be understood.