Nov. 17th, Madison Square Garden--Allan Houston, the Knicks guard, has been cleared to play by team doctors, doctors across the nation, and in Europe and Asia as well, but Houston has declined, saying he wants more time to rest a knee that no one in the world, not even in Cambodia (where doctors also examined him) believes is injured.

"It's tough for a warrior like me to take this position," Houston said. "You want to play so badly, you want to have your teammates' back, but you also want to make sure the timing's right."

Knicks officials, taking the high road and clearly intent on keeping their tone constructive, called Houston "a malingering hypochondriac."

Houston retorted, "You see me in my designer suits, looking incredibly handsome and smooth on the sidelines, and you think that's easy? You think I wouldn't chop my left arm off to lose that suit, get in my Knicks' uniform, and go out on the court and scrap with my teammates?"

"I've played injured all my life," Houston implored. "Christ, I played most of my senior year at college with a splinter in my shooting thumb. Nobody writes about that. All they write about is how I wouldn't let the trainer go near me with the needle. You know what, I'm done defending myself."

Houston was scheduled to see a doctor in Bangladesh, but team officials now say the appointment is off. Reportedly, the doctor canceled the appointment, saying he was over-booked with scheduled amputations.

Houston said he'll continue to rest the knee and, barring a setback, plans a return sometime next year, if not the year after. "When I come back, I wanna come back strong," he said. "Not with doubts."

"We'll take him back, sure," said Isiah Thomas, the Knicks' president. "That's if there's even still a Knicks franchise when he decides to return. Or, if any of us is even still alive. Or, if the terrorists haven't already taken over the entire world."