July 21--Ben Roethlisberger, the Steelers' valuable young quarterback, whose claim of a toe injury during last season's aborted playoff run was refuted then by team officials, including the team's head coach Bill Cowher, reported to summer camp with "Lou Gehrig's disease," Roethlisberger himself disclosed to reporters in a break from agility drills.

Roethlisberger said he first grew concerned after noticing some numbness in his extremities and some balance problems over the last six months.

"I was pretty freaked out," he said. "I don't generally jump to conclusions, but my first thought was, ‘Lou Gehrig's disease.'"

Roethlisberger has a growing history of claiming very dramatic illnesses and injuries, perhaps as a preemptive defense against failure, said team psychologist Jonathon Coioe, Ph.D.

"He doesn't have Lou Gehrig's disease," said Ron Weinstein, MD, the team's physician. "We've absolutely ruled that out. We've tested him head to toe. He's neurologically cleared to play."

"He probably had some harmless, transient peripheral neuropathic sensations," Weinstein surmised. "Ben's just a headcase, what can you say?"

Roethlisberger took humbrage at the doctor's swipe at his mental stability, calling him, "A jew."

Even with Lou Gehrig's disease, Roethlisberger vowed to play next season at full throttle, and committed to being the first person ever to recover from the dreaded, always fatal affliction.

"I looked this thing up on the Web, and I'm not gonna kid you," he said. "What I'm facing is scary. But I'm tellin' you guys right now, and you can write it down, I'm not gonna let this thing stop me. I'm gonna beat this thing. And when we win a Super Bowl, I'm gonna be the guy to have led the team."

Roethlisberger, in a side note, claimed to have had three of his "problem toes" amputated in May, but would not remove his shoe and sock when a reporter asked to see.