12/20, Madison Square Garden--Desperate for answers as the season slips away, the Knicks have signed Irv Sherman,74, a retired 5-8 accountant from Millburn, NJ to assume the team's point guard duties. Sherman will start immediately, team sources confirmed, allowing Stephon Marbury, the team's underachieving point guard, to underachieve as the shooting guard.

Sherman's knees are not what they once were (and they were never good), and he was once 6-2, but never mind: the Knicks, and head coach Larry Brown in particular, believe he possesses the "intangibles," especially the leadership qualities, the listing franchise has desperately sought.

"I think that I think that I think it's important to have some leadership on the court, I'm pretty sure I think that, at least it seems important to think that I think that," said the mind-numbing Brown, who continues to deny having suffered a serious head injury sometime in his life.

"It's very important that we turn this thing around, and it's not like I have the answers," Brown added. "I mean, we've tried a whole bunch of lineups, and you know, the injuries. What I'm saying is, I'm not sure what I'm saying, but I think it's important that I know what I'm saying."

Nobody ever understands what Brown is saying, but in Sherman, the Knicks have acquired a known quantity with indisputable assets: an aged point guard out of the Bob Cousy mold who, although he lacks quickness, lateral, forward and backward movement, has tremendous court vision.

"Irv is what you'd call limited, no question about it," said Knicks' President and General Manager Isiah Thomas, who has followed Sherman's accounting career closely for the last 20 years.  "His vertical was measured at ¾ of an inch, but he'd had a gigantic Passoverdinner and was probably feeling heavy and lethargic.  What we really like about Irv is he makes great decisions. His life has been full of great decisions. Plus, we see him as capable of translating Larry's incoherent instructions to the other guys."

Sherman heard the news from his wife, Sandy, who awakened him from one of several naps he takes daily. "That's great, honey," he said, "Do me a favor and close the door so I can go back to sleep."