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The Becker Sports Report
"Hilarious sports satire. Trust me."
Greg Corvi
used-car salesman

March 2007

August 2006

Isiah Thomas admits

Isiah Thomas admitted that he's been "day trading" with the Knicks' roster since assuming the team's presidency of basketball operations less than two years ago. Usually frosty with and disdainful of the media, Thomas made the candid disclosure when pressed to explain how he's managed to "turn the team over" more than three times in his relatively brief tenure.

He was also asked how it was possible that his performance has left Knicks fans yearning for the return of Scott Layden, the team's prior general manager, who was banished from the organization in 2003, "for life," after miring it in a salary-cap mess that Thomas has miraculously worsened.

Thomas said he'd always "wanted to 'day trade,'" and that his stint with the Knicks, characterized by his aimless, frenzied purchasing and selling of players, was giving him the necessary experience to work as a "real day-trader" after his executive basketball career ends.

Thomas said that, to maintain his goal of trading several players weekly, he was wrapping up the details of a complicated trade that would send Jamal Crawford, Stephon Marbury and the newly acquired Steve Francis to the New Orleans Hornets. The hold-up, he said, had to do with his "not recognizing any of the names of the Hornets' players, so I'm still not sure who I want to get back."

Furthermore, he said, prior to "pulling the trigger on the trade, I got to make sure it puts us even deeper in the salary cap hole without making us better."

Thomas said he likes the "shape of the new roster," even though it changes dramatically week to week. "Change is good," he said, adding, "this is about a vision. This is about putting something together we can proud of in a couple years, when I'm long gone and people will have started forgetting what a disaster I've been."

Until then, he said, he was confident he could leave the team in yet a more sickly condition, a goal many believe is impossible.

"Don't tell me I can't do something," a suddenly blustery Thomas snapped. "That just brings out my competitiveness. I'll get it done. Just watch."




Copyright (c) 2005 by Steve Becker.All rights reserved.

 
 
 

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