By John Corbisiero

In a shocking and embarrassing development for professional baseball, it was discovered that the Veteran's Committee admitted an imaginary player into Baseball's Hall of Fame at Cooperstown. It has come to light that Matt "Slugger" O'Brien of the St. Louis Browns never actually existed, but made his way onto the ballet due to the mischievous behavior of the 13 year-old son of one of the members on the Veteran's Committee, whose name is being withheld. "I did it on a dare" said the young man, "the real guys are all dead and boring anyway".

Matt O'Brien's resume was quite impressive--.393 career batting average, 450 home runs, and 350 stolen bases. "That's what sold me", declared Yogi Berra, who admitted to voting for "Slugger". "I mean, that's way better than Phil Rizutto, and he's in!" he added. Even Rizutto, who also voted for O'Brien, admitted he was impressed with his record, and actually remembered playing against him. 'He was a real SOB", declared Rizutto, who added, "and now that I hear he's a phony, I like him even less!"

The young man's prank was revealed by his brother, who was angry because he wasn't allowed to put his player, Sambo Brown, a Negro league player, in the ballot. There is a call for a wider investigation, to include players such as Frankie Frisch and Rogers Hornsby. A senior member on the voting committee declared, "no one can remember actually seeing these guys play, and their names sound made-up too".

John Corbisiero, Ph.D., is a psychologist with a private practice in Bergen County, NJ. We've been harrassing him for submissions and will keep on his ass until he becomes a more regular contributor.