By Gregory MacCrone
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Despite his All-Star credentials, Bret Boone struck out as a baseball announcer.
Boone, whose brother, Aaron Boone "plays" third base for the New York Yankees, has provided color analysis to Fox network's Joe Buck and Tim McCarver broadcast team for the American League playoffs.
Nielsen ratings for the broadcasts were "generally high while either Buck or McCarver had something to say, but those numbers dived precipitously each time Boone opened his mouth," said Nielsen analyst Rahm Emmanuel.
"It was as if the baseball-watching country took a collective bathroom break" each time Boone commented on the game, he said. Cited as likely "audience-retention disconnects" were Boone's misplaced emphasis, hackneyed "insight," voice projection, bad timing, and personality," said Emmanuel. |
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Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez, did not take offense at any perceived slight in Game 7, and Yankees pitcher David Wells is still borderline morbidly obese. |
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With both the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox eliminated, wire services report that fans outside those cities have since been chuckling quietly to themselves with smug, ironic satisfaction. |
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In Chicago and Boston, bartenders at sports bars across both those cities reported fans seeming relieved at returning to their no-pressure roles of "loveable losers. Without the pressure of the World Series on the line, we avoid the role of choker," said Kell's beverage manager Paul Fogarty. |
Gregory MacCrone is an attorney headhunter in Portland, Oregon. When he's not saving the legal world from bad hires, he's writing for the Becker Sports Report in fits and starts. But mostly fits. This is his first article, though he once had a great idea for an article on "Mullet Night"* -- an actual promotion for the AAA Portland Beavers baseball club. MacCrone is a Capricorn, a full-contact organic gardener, able to make 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes, and an enthusiastic mountain climber. He is a lifelong San Francisco Giants fan.
Copyright (c) 2005 by Steve Becker. All
rights reserved.
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