Williamsport, PA:

Little League officials strained to provide an adequate explanation for the discovery of Golden State Warrior point guard and NBA little man du jour Earl Boykins on the roster of the team from Chandler, Arizona. The 5'5" overachiever has been playing 3rd base for the team the entire summer based on a falsified birth certificate that identified him as 11 year old "Gary Coleman" from the town of Chandler.

Boykins was embarrassed but unapologetic when reached at his home for comment. "It's always been my dream to be a two sport athlete. Michael, Deion, Bo...Earl. I think I have the skills to compete at the highest level, but my size made big league scouts hesitant to bring me into camp. But I'm a player, baby. I make things happen on the diamond. However I need to prove myself, I'm in for the long haul. And shoot, some of those kids are big."

Little League CEO Stephen D. Keener held back little of his contempt for the situation when asked for comment. "Mr. Boykins has brought a shadow over the Little League World Series with his dastardly act of national treachery. We've asked for a felony charge of impersonating a minor to be brought against him, but apparently there's no such law. We will work hard to have him tried and jailed or at least forced to play for the Golden State Warriors for the remainder of his basketball career."

Warriors management apparently backed Boykins in his dream to play baseball on the national stage. Warriors GM Gary St. Jean appeared unmoved by the negative reaction to Boykins' being exposed, "We counseled Earl to pursue his dream through normal channels, but Warrior management is 100% behind his playing Little League baseball. Come on, he's smaller than most of the kids, and he's really not that good anyway. Early on, he was even considering joining the girls softball all-star team, but we thought that might be just over the line."

During his run with Chandler, Boykins did little to distinguish himself, batting .268 and making 12 errors in the field. He also caused friction with coach Eddie Malone by getting called out seven times for attempting to steal bases with a head first slide, which is not allowed in Little League play. "I loved Rickey. Rickey be Rickey, Earl be Earl. I've got the speed so I'm going to use it. And my batting average was higher than Deion. Tell him that."

Coach Malone pleaded ignorance when questioned, "I knew Gary, or Earl, was different from the other kids. He swore a bit more than I was used to. But he's just so doggone little. Most of the kids could eat apples off his head. We'll move on, but I'm never taking a call from that St. Jean guy again. He claimed Coleman was his nephew and had just moved to town."

Boykins' agent claimed Earl's quest for two sport recognition would continue, "We're exploring other options already. Some of the teams from other continents have already called offering him a spot on their roster. Earl's too good a player with too much upside to give up on after one setback."

Jordan Perry has authored several unpublished books on baseball and manages a coin-operated laundry in Redding, CA. Jordan has two articles appearing in this edition of The Becker Sports Report. Check out his second piece, "Changes to baseball All-Star Game looming." We hope Jordan will keep the articles coming in. He's a starting rotation writer.